Xing Qing Bu Hao....

Xing qing like shit.... feel like dying.... yet.... i am not dead.... but u.... u died.... suddenly.... shockingly.... dontnoe u well.... but still feel the lost.... did not noe... we were that close.... until now.... i feel the hurt.... i tot i was strong... at least i lasted a day before i drop a tear... i noe u are a a happy place... christian all end up in happy places.... but the lost was too fast.... who can accept.... the pain is not now... but for the people who loved u.... i wish i can be there... to send u for the last time... but i dont 1 2 cry infront of them.... wat will happen to her.... wat will happen to your unborn baby.... keep remembering the smile on your face when i first see u.... u said u will take care of my sister forever... and yet... u left her... i noe nothing is forever... but we were all unprepared.... i had this... i had that... and yet... i am still alive... and u... u are so healthy... yet... u just left...

never knew a phone call was so shocking... never know 30 was your year... never knew u left such a deep impression... never knew i will cry for u... never knew alot of things....

pls be strong... not for yourself but for your baby... we are suppose to be close.... but we are not... want to help... want to comfort... but i can... so far.... i love both of u... yet... now i can only love one of u.... pls be strong.... life have to go on....

just feel very very very very sad.... like shit.... dont noe why its u... maybe if it was me... ppl would understand... but u.... sad.... dont noe who to feel better... want to feel better... tot this christams would be different... now... it is really different.... wat to do... how to do.... when to do.... is there a happy pill... is a forget pill.... is there a revival pill....

you are 30 and healthy.... i am 22 and sick.... when will be mine day ? today ? tomorrow ?? 30 ? i hope... when it is mine time... your all will be prepared.... at least.... the lost is less painful for all of u to bear.....